Can love survive a long distance relationship

Can love survive a long distance relationship

Can a couple survive long distance love? Is it possible for a couple living on different continents or states make the relationship work?

In this age of online dating, anything is possible. Online connections are happening day in day out. And with such connections via the internet, you can’t really help or control the person who you click with.

There are so many couples who met online from different states and continents. They formed an online connection. Made an effort to meet each other eventually. And I believe once a couple makes an online connection, the offline bit is probably much easier. All that it takes is a commitment towards the relationship.

Then there are those who just got separated by work. Now in most cases, these couples are in committed relationships. So it’s not something you just bail on. They have to work at it.

What it takes for long distance love to work

The most important ingredient is love. A couple needs to be totally in love for it to last. Being faithful is very important. And I believe if you love someone, you will love them enough to remain faithful to them.

Communication is key. You need to be in constant communication with your spouse if you are to make it. Communication has a way of binding people together. Talk to each other every day and find out how the other person is doing. Share stories about how your day has been. Luckily, with all this technology, one can facetime or skype. So you can see your spouse and even if there is no touch, the connection will be maintained.

Another way to ensure long distance love works is making a concentrated effort to take turns to travel to each other. If this is left to just one person, they might start feeling like the other person is not putting in the work. Another way to be fair is to meet somewhere in between. You can always plan a holiday for yourselves. It doesn’t necessarily have to break the bank. Just the fact that you will be together will make it all worth the while.


Things to keep in mind when you are considering moving in together

Things to keep in mind when you are considering moving in together

Most couples at some point usually consider moving in together. Whether its after the wedding or it’s a come we stay affair, there are so many things to put into consideration.

One thing is, life isn’t going to be the same. You were an independent being then now its time to become co-dependent. Its a new chapter you are beginning. Its a big step too.

Disagreements are going to arise. Some will even be as petty as arguing over furniture and decor.

Now compromise is one of the virtues you need to nurture. Because without it, you might not be able to agree on anything or make important decisions as a couple. Well here are some of the factors that an interracial couple needs to consider before the big move.

1. Is the timing right for moving in together?

Timing is everything. So you don’t feel rushed by your partner to move in. You need to be ready as this is a major step. Both of you need to be prepared for this big move. Talk about it and make sure that both of you are in the same place.

2. Where will you live?

Now as a couple, you need to discuss who is moving in where. It usually pays off to look for a place that is neutral. Getting a new place together is the best option. Go view houses together. Things like proximity to work places will have to be discussed while making this decision. Sacrifices will have to be made.

3. Furniture and decor

couple arranging furniture

Whether you like it or not, this brings up a lot of disagreements especially if both of you had your own places. You will have to make tough decisions about what you keeping and what you will have to give up. Compromise is key.

4. Money issues

Now that you are moving in together, discuss how you are going to handle your finances. Who will pay what bills? Will you be pulling your money together? This is a very sensitive subject and it needs not be ignored when moving in together. Make sure you discuss this before hand.

Remember, so long as you openly talk about things, the move should be smooth. Good luck!


What does swirling actually mean?

What does swirling actually mean?

Swirling dating is a phrase that is used to describe a relationship between 2 people of different ethnicities. It is commonly used in the African American community when a black person dates a white man or woman. The phrase isn’t strictly limited to black and white dating only.  It also applies when a black person dates a Latino or even Asian. So basically, like the swirl on an ice cream of different colors, swirling just means interracial dating.

In today’s culture, more and more singles are “getting their swirl on” if you would like to put it that way. As a matter of fact, more black women are doing it. People are embracing the culture of finding love despite race. And as the numbers of interracial couples increase so is the acceptance of mixed love.

mixed coupleIs swirling dating for everyone?

Yes and No.

Sadly, there are people who still see this type of dating as controversial. Couples do get harassed or are given harsh stares by those that still live with the “stone age mentality”.  However, all is not lost. Everyone is allowed to have their own dating preferences and choices. Plus, if your goal is to find someone who loves and respects you, then the ethnicity shouldn’t really matter. We cant choose whom we fall in love with or whom we are attracted to.

So why has swirling become important lately?

Interracial dating has its perks. People are being connected beyond ethnic borders hence promoting racial cohesion. Won’t it be nice to know that you are living in a world where we can all just get along? It’s a beautiful thing.

This kind of mixing of cultures is also a great learning experience. You get to enjoy different foods, music, and traditions in the process.

With the rise in interracial dating sites, this type of dating increases people’s dating pool. The chances of meeting the love of your life have increased. So you no longer have to limit yourself to men or women of your own race. Love comes in different colors these days.

How can you increase the chances of success?

Always approach dating with an open mind. It is meant to be fun. Don’t pay attention to people’s stereotypes about people of other races. Let your goal be to make meaningful connections with great individuals.

Don’t approach mixed dating as an experiment. Potential mates will read right through it and reject you. Always steer clear of making race comments about your mate.

Remember, for swirling dating to work, be with a person you can form a genuine connection with, real love and respect.

Finding a gay interracial partner

Finding a gay interracial partner

Interracial gay dating is becoming quite common these days. This according to 2010 census data by the Williams Institute.  This could be pegged on the fact that interracial dating has become a common practice in the USA. Plus, there is a general increase in acceptance of interracial relationships. It’s no longer a jaw-dropping scenario for many.

Going by the numbers in an article published in 2015 in The Guardian, a third of gay men are in interracial relationships. That is a pretty significant number. And apparently, the most likely group to end up in interracial gay dating is black men. This is largely due to the homophobia that exists in the Christian faith. So most gay black men prefer to be on the down low hence the tendency to date interracially.

white man black man

Being openly gay is not an easy thing. It carries some stigma with it. There are family, friends and the whole society to deal with. Being gay and in an interracial relationship is even much harder. You are like dealing with two discriminants. Besides facing the pressures because of sexuality, in such a scenario, there is also race to deal with. Luckily, people are becoming more accepting of both gay relationships and interracial relationships.

So where can one meet a gay interracial partner?

Dating sites have been connecting people for years now. And gay men and women aren’t an exception. It’s the easiest and most convenient way to meet someone. You could also hit some of the gay clubs or bars and see if you can meet that special someone.

A real connection is key. And this comes despite one’s race. Meeting that special person who can celebrate whatever ethnic group you come from is a great feeling. Hard as it might seem, there will always be someone out there who will see you as a person first and not your skin color.

Beware of being fetishized. If you meet a person who can describe who you are without any mention of you being a gay (insert race) man or woman, then that is a keeper. Feel free to love and date whoever you want without fear or guilt.

loving lesbian couple

There are countries where being gay can be frustrating or even dangerous. And much as the LGBT people still face some discrimination, generally we live in a country that is more progressive. And people are allowed to fight for their right to love whoever they choose.

Much as it may be a touchy issue, other countries need to be more tolerant and accepting of the LGBT community. They should let gay interracial couples exist in a relaxing environment as they enjoy loving one another without anxiety and stress.

Some couples actually get the wow factor for being in a gay interracial relationship. People get mesmerized by it and for being a couple that is bold enough to love one another by overcoming stigma and stereotypes. And that is how it should be. People shouldn’t view dating outside one’s race as having internalized race. Interracial gay dating should be seen as nothing but beautiful thing.




Tips for the Holidays with the In-laws

Tips for the Holidays with the In-laws

You never really win with your in-laws. No matter you much you love them, worse if you hate them – they can always leave you feeling uneasy and squeamish, especially when you are in their home for the holidays.

When you married your spouse, you also married his/her family, so they say. Thus, spending the holidays with them is just normal. But what do you do when you do not really get along with your spouse’s parents.

Family Christmas1.Prepare for the visit.

Every visit should be given a good plan. Especially, if you have kids then you need to pack for the travel – you need to list the hundreds of things you need to bring.

Think through why you were uneasy with your in –law, was it just imagination or you can really see that they didn’t like. If this is true plan on how to get along better with them.

If you are with your children, prepare materials for activities that you can engage them in while you are traveling or even during those dull moments in the in-laws’ house.

2. Be open to different opportunities to help out

You should prepare yourself to be the lead in the cooking of the meals and maybe an assistant also. You can always pitch in for the expenses for the food. After the festivities, it is always helpful if everyone helps out to decrease the stress of cleaning up the mess. Even the children can help.

3. Be sensitive to the tradition of the families.

For sure, you also have your own sets of tradition but make sure to respect the existing ones in the in-laws. You should not impose your value system. Allow them to act the way they wanted to be. You are married to such family and you are also part of their tradition (including your kids!). You should also orient the kids on what they can expect in coming to the in-laws’ house and they should be expecting when they are there. Teach kids to be respectful and mindful of their environment and the people around them. This is a good time to be teaching your children on how to interact with the relatives and you’re in-laws.

4. Have fun.

The holidays are for having fun with the families, in-laws or not. Things should be a breeze when you have prepared for it. Yet, you should also be ready and accept the inevitable things that come your way.






Do people question your interracial dating choices?

Do people question your interracial dating choices?

Much as interracial dating has gained popularity, there are a few people who still question the intentions of couples who date interracially. They just don’t want to believe that the main reason behind this couples being together is purely for love.

Now, there are many questions that interracial couples are bombarded with, some that are quite annoying. All these are based on stereotypes and biases that society holds about interracial couples.

The status question:

There is this assumption that when a minority dates a white person, they are doing it in order to upgrade their status. This kind of thinking is so retrogressive. There are so many people who are very wealthy and they happened to fall in love with a white person. This doesn’t fly anymore.

self hateThe “Do you hate your race” question:

Some people are still stuck with the mentality that people who date interracially do it because they hate men and women of their own race. This is tied to the question: “You just couldn’t find someone from your own ethnicity?”. It is never like this. People just meet and fall genuinely in love. There is nothing wrong with a person dating someone simply because they clicked and they treat them well.

Dating interracially to have cute mixed babies.

This one is kind of tied to the one about hating one’s own race. The rationale people apply here is that one hates their own race so much so that they don’t want their children to look like them. So they marry interracially, specifically to get cute babies. Really? Mixed or not, if you are black or white, your kid will definitely pick some of the features that one has. They won’t be too different. It’s called genetics people.

asian woman

It must be a fetish.

Yes, there are some individuals who are inclined to dating people from a particular race. But does it really mean they fetishize them? I beg to differ. There are certain features that someone can be attracted to. And some races have very distinct features. An example is Asians. So if these features are what makes you tick, how is that a fetish? If you love women with silky blonde hair, you will definitely date a white person. It’s not always a fetish. The same reasons one might be attracted to a person of their own race are the same reasons that apply to interracial dating.


A few lies women may use on their first interracial date

A few lies women may use on their first interracial date

Creating an impression on your dream man is not easy especially on your first interracial date since the stakes to keep your best in front are high. This leads to undue pressure on most women and they may sometimes under pressure lie about a few things which may be harmless but leave a bad taste if found out later. Men need not worry if they caught their woman lying on the first interracial date and can pass it away as something which happened under pressure. Men need to keep their sixth sense active and read her body signs while she is talking to sense if she really means whatever she is saying.

first dateShe may lie about her love for outdoors on the first interracial date

Girls especially the ones who have just been out of their teens or have not dated seriously so far, will lie about their love for outdoors. They may portray themselves as someone who loves to go out and explore the world. They may even sync their hobbies in a way which makes the man believe that they love exciting and adventurous activities outdoors. Chances are she is not really an outdoors person and is lying just to keep your attention.

She may lie about her appetite on the first interracial date

Girls and women love food. However they think their table manners on the first date are far more important than the hunger pangs they may be suffering. On the first interracial date a woman will surely tend to eat less than her normal appetite to give an impression of demure and conservative attitude. Girls love food however they will never show it on the first interracial date. If you are eating out make sure you order something delicious and in small quantity since she is not going to eat much.

Lying about drinking is normal

She may deny drinking at all. Chances are that she is not going to admit to her share of getting wasted at parties because of alcohol even if she admits to drinking at parties. The reason is the impression she is looking forward to build on you. Girls have an impression that guys don’t like girls who can’t handle their alcohol.

Dietary lies are far too common on first interracial dates

No woman will ever let you feel that she is conscious regarding her figure and give you an impression that she does not care about her diet. However the reality is that women tend to take very good care of their duet. They watch out for each calorie that is added to their body and try to remain in the best shape whether they are dating or not. On the first interracial date if the conversation goes in the way of dietary habits your woman is going to seem disinterested and give you an impression she does not care or watch out her diet.


Maintaining intimacy in a long distance interracial dating relation

Maintaining intimacy in a long distance interracial dating relation

Being in a long distance interracial dating relation is not everybody’s cup of tea. Still you will find a lot of couples that have been into long distance interracial relationship with success. Apart from love for each other these couples do make a few extra efforts to keep the relationship intact. Intimacy is something that lacks in these long distance interracial dating relations. To keep the intimacy alive with your partner you need to go that extra mile. The effort to keep the relationship alive and happening rests with both the partners since a relationship is a two way process. Keeping intimacy and love alive and intact is not a tough task although.

interracial loveVisiting your partner in an interracial dating relation is important

Visiting your partner often will keep the intimacy alive. You may be living at a distance from each other due to your work, college or other family obligations still it is important to visit your dating partner whenever you get time. Scheduling your work and love life is in your hands and prioritizing your date is important for intimacy and keeping the relationship alive. Plan ahead and make sure your partner is free when you are visiting and vice versa. An element of surprise once or twice will surely make sparks fly. If your visit is short, try and make the most out of it.

Communication is key in a long distance interracial dating relation

Take time to talk to each other means you care for your partner. Talk as frequently as you can. Don’t worry about the content of the conversation since the conversation is going to shape up itself. Make sure to video chat whenever you have the option, time and chance. Exchange texts and photographs with each other. Any visual contact you have with your date is going to ensure that you remain close at least virtually till the time you meet in person.

Do things together even when far apart

Although it may sound a bit absurd but it works wonderfully. Time your meals in such a way that you can have them together at different places. Exchange photos of food you are having. Watch movies or games together and set up a call at that time so that you are together virtually and enjoy each other’s company. In case you are visiting a new place alone set up a video call with your date to enjoy each other’s company at a new place.

Gifts mean I care

Presents even the small ones have a clear cut message that you care for your date. It is important to exchange presents on major occasions like birthdays and Christmas however small gifts without any reason received in the mail always get butterflies into the stomach of the receiver. Anything you gift needs to be accompanied with a message that communicates your feelings along with the gift you are presenting to your interracial date. While receiving a gift or gifting something do not for the monetary value of the present instead focus on the feelings and the message you are putting across or reciving from your date.


Is it Beneficial to use Interracial Dating Sites?

Is it Beneficial to use Interracial Dating Sites?

Over the past few years the world of internet dating services have become more and more popular, the options that are available are everything from Christian dating sites to interracial dating services it all depends on what you are looking for in a mate. When it comes to interracial dating sites there are some that want to exactly what is meant by “interracial” and how society perceives this type of match.


The definition of interracial dating is when two people that are from two different ethnic groups go out on a date. Most of the time the racial or ethnic difference are very noticeable such as a difference in skin tone, values that are portrayed, or facial attributes; most commonly this is associated with the pairing between blacks and whites.

A Little History of Interracial Dating

There was a time when interracial dating was a taboo concept in America; this is because white people believed that they should only socialize or have relationships with people from their own race. This excluded all blacks from mingling with their white counterparts; this was never more obvious than in the days of segregation. During this period blacks were not allow to even step foot in an establishment meant for whites; each race had their own area when it came to patronizing business establishments or using public facilities.

Times have changes now that most Americans have begun to break down the barriers between the races and interracial relationships have become more common. The number of interracial marriages has increased dramatically because it is no longer stigmatized and in some cases is even encouraged.

The Truth behind Interracial Dating

While relationships between whites and blacks, comically referred to as salt and pepper dating, are one of the most common forms of interracial dating and marriages it not the only form that it takes, the merging of any two ethnic groups including Hispanics, Mexicans, and Europeans are also in this classification. It is actually more common for these relationships to result in cohabitation and sexual relationships without the need to actually commit to marriage, however when this does occur it is known as interracial marriage.

Interracial Dating Services

There are many online dating services that cater to those who are searching for an interracial relationship, even if they are searching for a Christian mate. These services are offered on a trial basis, for free, and even for a small fee depending on which option you prefer to use. Those who opt to use this type of dating service can easily log into their chosen dating site and find others looking for Christian mates, companionship, marriage, romance, or courtship. These sites will cater to individuals who are single, senior citizens, and those who are married but looking for a relationship outside of their existing relationship.

The Advantages and Disadvantages of Interracial Dating

As with any type of relationship there are both pros and cons to interracial dating. It is important to weigh both sides of the coin before you commit to this type of relationship.

The pros:

•Couples generally have a mutual respect for one another.
•The opportunity to understand and involve yourself in another culture or race.
•Some say that it is much easier to find an individual who will become their lifelong partner.

The cons:

•Individual’s attitudes tend to be bias.
•They maybe issues with friends and family on both sides of the relationship.
•Negativity can be present in the relationship, because of ingrained differences.
•The differences when it comes to stigmas, child care, and patience can be drastically different.

Some Common Problems with Interracial Dating

Even today public perception of interracial couples varies widely from the comical to the vicious and sometimes violent responses that you may encounter. It is important to discuss the possible social backlash that you may encounter even if you were matched on a Christian dating site.

Public perception coupled with the differences in values on either side of the relationship can be problematic. The reason this can be a problem is because each race or ethnic group deals with daily life very differently; knowing and compromising on these differences can make the relationship stronger instead of tearing it apart.

One common problem that arises maybe with submission especially in the Asian community. Asian women tend to be more submissive to their male counterparts, while those from other ethnic groups may not portray this trait. The differences may also extend to the bedroom and if the results of those acts. It is always better to have open and honest communication so these differences do not put a wedge between the individuals who are in the relationship.

While online dating services offer anything that you are looking for from Christian dating sites to interracial relationships it is important to remember that the services only job is to get couples together, but it is up to them to make a relationship work.

Keeping your interracial relationship meaningful with time

Keeping your interracial relationship meaningful with time

You have got out of the excitement of the first and second date of an interracial relationship. You are in a relationship with the person whom you found on an interracial dating website. Your expectations have been met. Both of you are going around and people around you have started recognising

you as a couple. Still there are things that need to be taken care of especially in an interracial relationship that will go a long way in deciding how far you can take your relationship. Make sure you make the right moves and manage your relationship in a manner so that you are able to manage your interracial relationship in the right direction. There are things that you need to know once you are in an interracial relationship that are going to keep you in the right spirit and provide a right direction to the interracial relationship you are in.

Cheating in an interracial relationship is not acceptable

infidelityCheating on your partner is not acceptable in any relationship. It works the same for interracial relationships. Cheating even to get even with your cheating interracial relationship partner is not something you should be doing. It is better to get out of a relationship where you feel an urge of cheating your partner. In case you find out that your interracial dating partner is cheating on you for someone else get out of the relationship. Cheating is the real deal breaker in interracial relationships. Do not cheat and do not take cheating lightly.

Do not accept disrespectful behavior in an interracial relationship

Respect in interracial relationships is very important since this is the basis of emotional attachment between two human beings. If you are not getting respect in a relationship so not expect your partner to love you. In case your interracial dating partner does not respect you he or she is there in the relationship for reasons other than love. You may be a stop gap arrangement or just an ATM for your dating partner. It is better to get out of the relationship as soon as possible rather than dealing with disrespectful behavior that keep berating your personality.

Being a mystery helps in an interracial relationship

Holding back a little bit of information about yourself, letting your partner discover you slowly and steadily will be an addition to your interracial relationship. Your partner will keep discovering new things about you almost every day some of which may be a surprise element for him or her. This will keep the spice up in your interracial relationship and you are going to enjoy your days with your interracial partner.

While planning dates in an interracial relationship be creative

For the first and second date choose a place that has ample of activities to do since these are the special moments you may cherish for life. Dating on weekends while camping in the woods under the open sky can be a big booster to your understanding and relationship. Activities that require a night out will be an option only once both the partners are comfortable with each other and can trust each other well. Going to a local band performance or a new eating joint or even taking an impromptu car trip to the next state will be a great idea for a date instead of sitting in the regular café you met in for the first time.